A Guide to merry-making at the Christmas banquet table

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like kissing your sister under the mistletoe or buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, let’s have some standards, even if it is Christmas.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, (or, in Mike E.'s case: get up from under the table), you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Beginners Guides: USB Memory Drive Projects - PCStats.com
Encryption, Firefox browser, word processing, arcade games and yes even an operating system can be run off your USB hard drive... if you know how! - Version 1.0.0

Lunch with mom

At the consignment store where we were killing time waiting for the sushi prior to heading to Port Moody to join my wife on her lunch break.

All toasty and ready for a winter outing.

The baby work release program is really taking off...

MSNBC - The Tech-Support Generation: "The Tech-Support Generation
Millions of young Americans will head home next week to give thanks, eat turkey and fix their parents computers"

Working on our reading. She gets up in the morning and goes right to the books and starts going through them and talking to the pages.

Where did a year go?

And for the correct answer to the question "Who's your daddy?" let's go to the lady in purple and blue.

Be very,very quiet...

We had to use a tongue supressor to help her roll that back in. I think she sprained it.

The view on a sunny wednesday.

Some time together on a Saturday morning.

Family

I love this photo.

Preparing for the celebration

The cake :-)

Tasting cake for the first time

American Rescue Team Survival Magazine Article - American Rescue
Don't duck and cover in an earthquake...?

Baby in background

Went browsing for home furnishing and furniture on Thursday afternoon. Home Sense, Scan Designs and then Ikea. This picture shot while I sat in the car while my wife powered on through another sofa store. Ikea is like an endurance test. Picked up a table for the office for my wife and decided the sectional offered at Ikea just was not comfortable enought to spend a bunch of money on. It would have been a quick and reasonable affordable solution. Put a sofa bed inside one of the sections and a curtain to divide off the family room when guests visit and we would have been set. It means more fabric swatches and discussions of microfibre in my future.

Started setting up the new office on Wednesday night. Nice to have a set place but certainly a pain moving things twice.

All bundled up to deal with the cold and crisp sunny day. I think the look means "This is so going in my book."

After the drop off in Surrey made the long drive out to UBC for a colleagues going away lunch at Sage bistro. I was impressed with myself for managing to navigate the deep reaches of Surrey and still end up where I needed to be with no wrong turns.

Get 'em young...train them well.

The flu shot station is in the background. And in a shocking turn of events my daughter occupies the foreground of the picture. Who would have thought...? It was a quick process. Put in your name, get sent to a station, asked why you qualify for a free flu shot, quick poke and 15 minutes in the waiting room to make sure you don't have an allergic reaction. Then dash to the car at 10:30 to run my wife out to her workplace in Surrey for an 11:30 client.

Wednesday was my day with my daughter. We started off by going to get a flu shot at the public clinic for me. I got some strange looks from the senior citizens. What is the early 30s guy doing here crashing our social event. My daughter spent a bit of time making friends.

This picture taken on Bowen last weekend. We went for lunch at a busy restaurant overlooking the ocean. I had some amazing french toast. Lots of cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar. Really, how can you go wrong once you throw in the maple syrup and whipped cream.

CJR November/December 2004: Blinded by Science

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | G2: Simon Schama on a newly divided America

Her first birthday present has arrived from abroad from her dearly missed aunt and uncle...

Family room

Wall between living room and dining room - display nooks on right hand side of picture

Living room in the evening

All tuckered out - she was asleep when I got home... changed her diaper around 9 and through in a gratituous bottle just to get a little snuggle before tucking her in again.

Baby under glass take 4 - Note to self - apply windex to window. The glass in our deck is quite amusing. When you come home at night and the condensation has formed all you see is all the baby handprints.

Baby under glass take 3

Baby under glass take 2

Baby under glass take 1

Diary of a day - The morning view - up at seven with the baby - fog still covering the water of Indian Arm

Conducting a household inventory...

Climbing the fridge...

Playing with the mirror take two...

Playing with the mirror....

Halloween preparations with my nephew. Wife and daughter in background.

Update

Memorable moments from the past week;

* We moved into the main floor of our house from the basement suite
on the 31. It was a great feeling of freedom to be able to go
wherever we wanted and explore the new environment. The kitchen
is beautiful with high-end appliances and design. Lots of
storage, gas range, Corian counter tops. A wonderful place to be
with our family.
* My daughter is ambivalent about the hardwood floors but has
certainly enjoyed the fact that the entire place was baby safe
since we had no furniture. :-)
* On Sunday we carved a pumpkin and put it out on the front step and
handed out candy to neighborhood children and their accompanying
posse of adults. I felt very adult.
* Had a fun interlude with my daughter on the front deck. I swept
it off and encouraged to come outside, appropriately attired in
the her purple fleece jacket and velour pants. She went to the
glass railing and looked through. Turned around and saw the baby
in the reflection of the sliding door. High speed crawling back
to the door. Turns around, a baby reflecting in the glass in the
railing. Saddle up and away we go. This went on for a good 10
minutes. On a side note she eventually napped for 2 hours. Lots
of fun for her.
* Worked Monday and then had a Transit Advisory Committee meeting.
Thankfully, they have brought in a professional facilitator to
make the meetings more effective. Kudos to them for recognizing
things weren't going well and changing their approach.
* Took the Skytrain home on a night that made me think that Noah may
have been onto something. Came out of the station to see the bus
I needed pulling away from the stop as I was 30 feet away. 9:30
at night, pouring rain, half an hour to the next bus. So I walked
up the hill. Cold and wet but relaxing at the same time. I was
pretty soaked by the time I saw my house and seeing the glow of
the front yard lights brought the tune of the CCR song Long as I
Can See the Light to mind. There is a magic to summer songs and
the music of your youth...actually my parents youth... :-)
*

Put a candle in the window
'cause I feel I gotta move.
Thought I'm goin' goin'
I'll be comin home soon
long as I can see the light.

* Busy day at Venue West on Tuesday. Pounded through a bunch of
work and then caught the train to my parents where my wife and
daughter had been all day. Had dinner and then loaded up the
whole fam damily to head home again. Loving the fact the commute
is substantially shorter.
* Spend Wednesday with my daughter. Pancakes in the morning,
playing with the ball and associated toys, snuggling will drinking
the bottle, nap, repeat.
* Thursday and Friday ... wife in design frenzy. Happy that she can
go out and buy things and change things in her house. Paint
chips appended to various walls. Somewhat of an unstoppable
force.... all those hours watching design shows are paying off.
* Worked from home, somewhat worked at least, Friday. A little
persistence and a 50 foot network cable meant I could sit in the
kitchen and work and remote into my desktop computer from the
laptop using TightVNC. Ran the cable out of the office, down the
hall, out the basement window, up the deck and back in the kitchen
window. I've got to get wireless. :-)
* Saturday was laundry, cleaning, bonding with baby and our first
dinner guests. My brother in law and nephew came over for some
squash-pear soup, buns and meat and cheese. Simple but nice.
Enjoying cooking with a gas range and the instant heat.
* The place is starting to come together - have the family room set
up, figured out how the appliances work and settling in.
* Heading to Bowen tomorrow for a wine and cheese with a retired
transportation planner I'm doing some pro-bono database work for.
Should be a bunch of counsellers and other participants in the
survey process. I was referred to this by my current boss who
also lives on Bowen.
* Reading Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. It validates many a
rant I've had about improper use of language and punctuation.
* Time for some sleep....the days go by so fast.
*

Memorable moments from the past week;

• We moved into the main floor of our house from the basement suite on the 31. It was a great feeling of freedom to be able to go wherever we wanted and explore the new environment. The kitchen is beautiful with high-end appliances and design. Lots of storage, gas range, corian countertops. A wonderful place to be with our family.
  
• My daughter is ambivelent about the hardwood floors but has certainly enjoyed the fact that the entire place was baby safe since we had no furniture. :-)
• On Sunday we carved a pumpkin and put it out on the front step and handed out candy to neighborhood children and their accompanying posse of adults. I felt very adult.
  
• Had a fun interlude with my daughter on the front deck. I swept it off and encouraged to come outside, appropriately attired in the her purple fleece jacket and velour pants. She went to the glass railing and looked through. Turned around and saw the baby in the releflection of the sliding door. High speed crawling back to the door. Turns around, a baby reflecting in the glass in the railing. Saddle up and away we go. This went on for a good 10 minutes. On a sidenote she eventually napped for 2 hours. Lots of fun for her.
• Worked Monday and then had a Transit Advisory Committee meeting. Thankfully, they have brought in a professional facilitator to make the meetings more effective. Kudos to them for recognizing things weren't going well and changing their approach.
  
• Took the Skytrain home on a night that made me think that Noah may have been onto something. Came out of the station to see the bus I needed pulling away from the stop as I was 30 feet away. 9:30 at night, pouring rain, half an hour to the next bus. So I walked up the hill. Cold and wet but relaxing at the same time. I was pretty soaked by the time I saw my house and seeing the glow of the front yard lights brought the tune of the CCR song Long as I Can See the Light to mind. There is a magic to summer songs and the music of your youth...actually my parents youth... :-)
  

• Put a candle in the window
  
  'cause I feel I gotta move.
  
  Thought I'm goin' goin'
  
  I'll be comin home soon
  
  long as I can see the light.

• Busy day at Venue West on Tuesday. Pounded through a bunch of work and then caught the train to my parents where my wife and daughter had been all day. Had dinner and then loaded up the whole fam damily to head home again. Loving the fact the commute is substantially shorter.
  
• Spend Wednesday with my daughter. Pancakes in the morning, playing with the ball and associated toys, snuggling will drinking the bottle, nap, repeat.
  
• Thursday and Friday ... wife in design frenzy. Happy that she can go out and buy things and change things in her house. Paint chips appended to various walls. Somewhat of an unstoppable force.... all those hours watching design shows are paying off.
  
• Worked from home, somewhat worked at least, Friday. A little persistence and a 50 foot network cable meant I could sit in the kitchen and work and remote into my desktop computer from the laptop using TightVNC. Ran the cable out of the office, down the hall, out the basement window, up the deck and back in the kitchen window. I've got to get wireless. :-)
• Saturday was laundry, cleaning, bonding with baby and our first dinner guests. My brother in law and nephew came over for some squash-pear soup, buns and meat and cheese. Simple but nice. Enjoying cooking with a gas range and the instant heat.
  
• The place is starting to come together - have the family room set up, figured out how the appliances work and settling in.
• Heading to Bowen tomorrow for a wine and cheese with a retired transportation planner I'm doing some pro-bono database work for. Should be a bunch of counsellers and other participants in the survey process. I was referred to this by my current boss who also lives on Bowen.
  
• Reading Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. It validates many a rant I've had about improper use of language and punctuation.
  
• Time for some sleep....the days go by so fast.
  
• 
  

Back to Iraq 3.0

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PressThink: "Our Code is Falling to Pieces." Doug McGill on the Fading Mystique of an Objective Press

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